in the half light

I can’t decide whether I love or hate nights. There’s a strange sense of calm in the hospital. There’s just a skeleton staff, the corridors are quiet, voices hushed, the doctors room deserted. And that’s what I like. Less people harrassing you, no consultants demanding instant scans, no nurses demanding instant discharges just medicine stuff. Well, I’m getting carried away. There’s always something else. The patient who intent on “GETTING OUT OF THEIR BED and CATCHING THE BUS HOME BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY’RE NOT IN A FREAKING HOSPITAL YOU FOOL.” Often alcoholics withdrawing or little old demented ladies, both of whom tend to choose the early hours of the morning to go off the wall (at times literally off the walls). But then it dies down. Wards are dark. A shaft of light from the nurses station gives a calming glow, not too hard on the eyes. But in the depth of nights decisions are hard, thoughts are often skewed and undoubtedly a sick patient always seems much worse than in the cold light of day. When I stumble around a patient’s bedside in the dark (if only the NHS provided working bulbs in bedside lights I would have noticably fewer bruises on my poor thighs) nights are frustrating, but the chance to sit doing paperwork at the computer with the radio on softly is something which can only be captured on nights and as the sun comes up, I can stand up, stretch and take a peek at the sunrise stretching over the city out to sea, the glowing reds and yellows marking the start of a new day. In an hour or so, the day staff drift in, lights are switched on, patients wake and the day’s in full swing. And then I write myhandover list, present the night’s take and breathe a deep sigh of relief as I realise bed is within reach. As everyone is starting the day…rushing to drop children at school, get to work on time, chase after the ward round (inevitably a consultants legs no matter how short they may look go at 10 times the speed of any normal human) but me, I wander home, collapse on the sofa and before I know it, it’s six in the evening and it’s my turn to start the day. That half light of dawn and dusk is difficult to beat.

[Via http://thepurplecoat.wordpress.com]

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