This is a post about my flexible, but current theory of tolerance or acceptance. Each independent of the other. I think in work, and everyday life, there are moments when you need to have tolerance, and there are moments when you need to be accepting, but never both together. It is an all-or-nothing deal.
For example, when you are listening to a boring story being told by a friend, acquaintance, or family member etc., and you don’t want to listen to it, but they need you, you must have tolerance to stay in the moment for your friend, acquaintance or family member etc., because they need you to just be there.
Acceptance and tolerance both establish themselves positively and negatively in varying situations, based on if the situation is negative or positive. It’s kind of like in math, when you are measuring integers: the same signs cancel themselves out to be a positive, and opposing signs result in a negative equation or a positive equation, depending on the situation. I think it is integers, but you know what I mean. If the situation is positive, but the path leads to a negative that you have to either tolerate, or accept, then it is a negative tolerance, or negative acceptance. If the path is congruent, or matches the situation positively, then the result will be positive acceptance, or positive tolerance. Tolerance seems to be the more- negative state, compared to acceptance, but it can be true for either. You may think that if the path is congruent to the situation, then there is still a risk for a negative outcome, but it only depends on the situation being negative, not the decision of the path… hmmm.. this is getting complex. Here are three examples (there are an infinite number):
Scenario 1:
Situation: Negative (example: irritable co-worker at your job)
Path: Tolerance or acceptance?
Decision: Tolerance= negative tolerance
Outcome: Your day is shifted by the negative mood of your coworker, but you tolerate this mood and don’t “react,” to the coworker.
Tolerance, by Christophe Vorlet
Scenario 2:
Situation: Positive (example: Feeling excited to return to school)
Path: Tolerance or acceptance?
Decision: Acceptance= positive acceptance
Outcome: Positive mood and emotions due to feeling excited to return to school.
Scenario 3:
Situation: Negative (example: Dropped icecream cone onto cement)
Path: Tolerance or acceptance?
Decision: Acceptance= positive acceptance
Outcome: You buy another icecream, and hope that you will not drop it. Feeling a bit disappointed about the lost money from dropping it, but accept the situation.
Acceptance, by Elizabeth Silk
It is important to be aware of your choices and options for being tolerant, or accepting of situations. We are faced with having to make decisions about how we feel in situations everyday, at every moment, but if you are able to discern between a positive situation or negative situation, you can learn how to cope with the effects by either tolerating the outcome, or accepting the outcome, regardless of the positive or negative aspects of the situation. Living this way helps you be more conscious of how negative or, how overly positive you may be (if overly positive is possible), and you can learn how to begin to change from feeling negative to more positive, almost overnight. If you find that you are “tolerating” most negative situations, it is not that “negative” to begin with, because you are able to identify the possibility to stick in the situation and tolerate it, to find hope in a negative situation. It is not either, or, because tolerance and acceptance are different things, and hopefully my arguments have made sense, and are understandable, logical.
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I am writing about this, because as a Physician, I think it will be so important for me to understand tolerance, and understand acceptance when working with patients, their families/ caregivers and colleagues. Not everyone thinks the same, so it is important to be flexible and accept, or tolerate moods and actions in every situation. Medicine requires an incredible amount of patience, problem solving and preparation (3 P’s), so being alert to the details of each situation will allow me to stay grounded, and focused on the task at-hand. I am excited for this challenge!
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